Gotta Please 'em All!

You know what I don't get...when people find out I'm going to Japan on my mission, they immediately say something in Japanese to me (cause for some reason, they all can speak it). I can't speak Japanese, so when they say whatever they say, I have no choice but to stand there and look like a fool.

I mean, I really only have a few options in that kind of situation--believe me, I've had plenty of time to thoroughly contemplate both the awkwardness of these situations I constantly find myself in, and also the very limited number of responses I could possibly have to counter their...whatever they say.

Situation 1:
Me: Yeah, I'm going to Japan.
Other: Genki desu ka?
Me: ...What?


Situation 2:
Me: Yep, Japan.
Other: Oh....Konnichiwa.
Me: ...yeah....Pokémon.

Situation 3:
Me: That's right, I've been called to the Japan, Fukuoka Mission.
Other: (Some random Japanese phrase that I couldn't possibly remember)
Me: Oh...Is that Japanese then?

Situation 4:
Me: Japan
Other: (Another Japanese phrase probably making fun of me)
Me: ...


And so on...

I constantly find myself in these kinds of situations, where those are honestly some of my responses. I mean, who freaking speaks Japanese? Why couldn't I have been called to speak that crazy click-language in Africa? Maybe then people wouldn't try to talk to me in click. Or maybe they would...psychos.

I've thought about wearing a sign around my neck that explained my complete incompetence--that I've somehow managed to be the only person in Utah Valley that missed that day in school where they teach you Japanese. My freaking 9 year-old brother knows how to count to, like, 100 in Japanese. What is this world coming to?

It's also been really weird, learning that just about everyone I know has either lived in Japan for a few years, or went there on their mission, or had Japanese exchange students, or took it in High School or College. Okay, where were all these people before I got my call? I know it's cool that I'm going there--and now we all have that similarity to discuss at what ends up to be the most inconvenient times--but how come they didn't tell me before? Did they not think I'd care? Could I not handle hearing about Japan before I knew I was doomed to go there for the next two years of my life?

I'm probably coming off a lot more annoyed and angry than I am. And I've certainly digressed from my original point...which I've forgotten. Ah, yes, that was it: Stop saying Japanese to me! I don't understand it yet. And that just makes our conversation really awkward afterward. Then somehow it falls to me to save the conversation, and I don't feel like that's fair at all.

Example:
Other: Where are you going on your mission?
Me: Fukuoka, Japan.
Other: Oh, Konnichiwa. Anata wa saru des.
Me: ...Um...So was that Japanese?
One Half of My Brain: OF COURSE IT WAS, YOU FOOL! Now you've done it...You've really gone and done it now.
The Other Half of My Brain: Yeah?! Well, tell me what you would have said. Go on...just work your magic!
The First Half of My Brain: Okay, watch this.
Me: Um, I'm going to Japan on my mission...
All of My Brain: I'm outta here!
*sound of a door closing in my mind*
Me: ...
Other: ...


So now that I've completely exhausted this subject, I'll end my post now. I guess I'm lucky though...at least the people here don't honestly expect me to be able to say anything back. That doesn't necessarily stop them from making a fool of me--we've seen that--but I'm sure it's much easier to deal with here than it is in Japan, when I suddenly find myself on someone's doorstep, who is staring at me, wondering what I'm trying to say.

And I don't think "Pokémon" is gonna save me then...